NFL Credentials

While I do consider myself relatively normal, I also embrace the behavior that sets me apart, like wearing ludicrous outfits if the situation calls for it. In 2001 I had the good fortune to attend the AFC Championship. Oakland, my first favorite football team and one of the most colorful franchises in sports history, lost the game 16-3 to Trent Dilfer, Tony Siragusa and the rest of the soon-to-be-champs Baltimore Ravens. It was excruciating to watch, but it doesn't mean we didn't have fun. It will most likely continue to be my favorite football memory despite the result. It is not every day you get to wear a helmet....with a plastic pirate sword shoved through it. My most vivid memory of the day was leaving the stadium with 3 or 4 minutes to go. The Ravens D had dominated all day, capped by Siragusa body-slamming Rich Gannon like it was the WWF....the outcome was not in doubt. Some Raider faithful sitting behind us (we were in the nosebleeds and the booze was flowing) were not happy with our early departure. I was asked in a menacing tone: "Hey SwordHead, where ya going?" Obviously, it was the correct time to leave. Notes: The shirt said Dilfer Blows. The lead singer of that parking lot band was belting out "You've Got Another Thing Comin' " by Judas Priest in that pic. You can see by his smile that while he respects SwordHead, he does not fear SwordHead.

Jackass

It begins.

I can't believe the story and quote shown below. Come on. You can say any number of things, including something like "T.O. is a member of this team, and he has to follow the rules just like everyone else. I am sure Terrell knows he needs to be on time for meetings and practice." Instead, Jerry Jones associates him with some of the greatest players, or at least "upstanding citizens", of Cowboy history....and Owens has yet to play a down in their uniform:

Jerry Jones agrees, pointing out that some of the most upstanding citizens in team history were fined for similar transgressions.

He also insisted it's a mistake to read more into Owens' tardiness, the fine and his lingering hamstring issue simply because of T.O.'s past.

"From my standpoint, it's all good," Jones said.

Well, Jerry, from my standpoint it's all total bullshit....with you at the head of the parade.

Shit Sandwich

Being a Phoenix native, I have long supported the local teams. The NHL and MLB have only been around for around a decade, but I have welcomed transplanted franchises (Coyotes) as well as thrown my weight behind expansion teams (D'backs). When the St Louis Cardinals decided to move here, starting with the '88 season, I was skeptical. Family friends that moved here from MO in '84 had warned us - "You do not want this guy (Bidwill) and his team". How right they were. It hasn't just been the wins and losses. That I can understand, as pro sports is a challenging venture. But the moronic decisions, brain-dead draft picks and PR blunders have made Cardinal fans reside in NFL hell. Now they have a new stadium, and now they have Edge, and all that. Hoo-rah. Here's Mike Bidwill's quote from some MSNBC article:

"People are starting to understand that we aren't fooling around,'' said Bidwill's son, Michael, Cardinals vice president and general counsel. "We want to build a championship team.''

Well, we will see about that. If they somehow win 10 games and show that they are on the right track to turning things around, like the Rams and the Bucs have in the recent past, then I will give them all the credit in the world. However, something tells me that 5 months from now I will get the chance to hear Mikey B continue to make excuses for why the Bidwill family cannot win in the NFL...while they remain $12 million below the current cap and and field an O-line that probably can't rush the ball against the Little Sisters of the Poor.

Say It Ain't Mo

Pittsburgh Steeler Barrett Brooks is now officially off the hook, as Mo Clarett easily pushes him off the front page for off-the-field news. We could hold another caption contest for the pic shown, but I bet whatever was said during that phone call easily surpasses any of our efforts in terms of humor....his lawyer's name is Nick Mango. Nick Mango? Yes. Nick Mango. Not content with burglary charges, Mike Shanahan's favorite college player clearly decided he had to up the ante. Bullet-proof vests? Spike sticks? An AK-47? There is only one answer for me. Ice Cube is nothing. Clarett is the real deal.

The Steel Curtain's Need For Speed

As I often say, what a joke. Nothing really needs to be said regarding this story. If you have not read it, you should. It doesn't even deserve analysis - I almost do not believe that Brooks could be that stupid, considering the events from earlier this summer. What is the thought process here? "I'm not only going sans helmet after my teammate, in his own words, almost died less than 60 days ago.....but I am going to double down with reckless operation AND evading the authorities." Brilliant. Perhaps the Steelers can put together some kind of traveling motorcycle road show...call it Idiots On Wheels.

Miami "Heat"

What in the hell is it that makes athletes act strangely when they visit Miami? It is like the Bermuda Triangle for athlete/Po-Po altercations. I do not know Dale Davis as a malcontent of any notoriety. As soon as I started reading the story, before my mind had registered the location, I knew it. F-L-A. Had to be.